3 Lies Porn Taught Me About Sex

By Tyler Ward

Sadly, most people—both men and women—don’t know what sex is today.

It was a fall day in third grade. I jumped off the bus and abided by my normal routine of climbing my next-door neighbor’s fence and knocking on the front door to join Jackson, my next door neighbor, in whatever nonsense he was getting into that day.

From the moment he opened the door, something about the wild in his eyes and the smirk on his face told me today was different. He anxiously invited me in, quietly shut the door behind me, and ran upstairs. I followed him to the back of the house where a storage closet opened up to a walk-in attic.

Apparently his mom wasn’t aware of the dozen boxes of Playboys packed away when she asked Jackson to organize the attic that day. He wasn’t sad about her ignorance, and neither were my preteen hormones. We spent the next sixty minutes skimming the magazines and creating misconceptions about sex that would take me years to understand.

My earliest sexual awakening was built on fantasizing about women who weren’t actually real. These bad ideas about sex continued to be facilitated by the occasional exposure to pornography throughout my teenage years. And even though I never developed an addiction, my exposure was enough to keep me thoroughly misinformed about sex.

Most men have their own version of this story. According to recent statistics in 2013, 85% of men look at pornography at least once a month. And part of the 85% or not, we’ve all likely been misinformed about sex by marketers and the media throughout our lives.

Pornography has lied to us about sex. It elicits and perpetuates ideas about intimacy that are actually more about fantasy than they are about real sex. It has taken a gift given to us …read more